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Saturday, 29 September 2012

Stingers in my drink!?

Ordered a drink on holiday.
Told the waiter to suprise me.
Turned up with this glass which looked full of water, ice and stingy nettles!

I said: What do you call this?!

He said: "That's a Mijito sir.."

I said: "Think you mean Mosquito!! I know I said suprise me, but I didn't mean, do it by stinging the crap outta my tongue!!"

He said: "I'm sorry Sir, you've lost me?

I said: The bloody green stingers, see em!?

He said: Those are Mint Sir..

I said: Yeah right, I'm not an idiot, Mints are White... And usually round or are round with a hole in the middle!!

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Quote of the Day: 20th October 2012

I gotta get into that all body workout routine..
Coz I need all body weight loss!!

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Lip

You might moan when you bite your tongue...
Pussy.. think how a Shark feels!!!

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Argos

If I asked you how you felt about Argos, most of you would tell me how pointless it is...
Like:
"It's the internet shop, without the internet"
"They only ever have like 4 of each item & either have it in the back or they don't have it in the back... so why not just have it in the front where I can see it without asking!"
"Oh crums, no, one woukdnt be seen there, it's for the riff raff..."

Funny thing is the third answer actually hits it on the nail...
Sadly, the truth is, you generally find Argos located in most towns, especially ones with a high concentration of working class or lower class population..
So although it seems odd to not use the massive exspance of shop floor space to hold & show stock, cleverly, Argos understand they are at high risk or robbery.

I'd say they won't change their model on one basis...
That even the small crappy pens get stolen, so what would happen to the stock.

In fact when the Riots happened, Argos were best placed to defend against this sort of attack..
Firstly: very little stock on show
Secondly: more than 3 doors to break through.
Thirdly: hardly any stock
Lastly: The entrance to the stock room must be some sort of wormhole which requires a passcode to enter & is defended by a Troll!!

The one thing that annoyed me recently, when trying to buy something...
They had didn't have stock in store & don't deliver.. No, instead you have to place a reservation & book it to be delivered to a depot near you, but its only available for 2 days?!
Where does go & why do this when your concept is to hold stock in store or deliver to the door!! Urrgghh

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Holiday

A wise Englishman once said that its not important to learn the local language when going abroad... Like, say you go to Greece you'll learn some words, go to use them & the other person doesn't even speak the language..
They are from somewhere else! Like Slovania! Who, by the way, have some lame insults.. one of the worst apparently means something like:
Go up your ass...

Sperm through oral is good for women

Semen is 'good for women's health and helps fight depression' | Mail Online
So, women, read & take note... Sperm will make you feel good, sleep better, win Pub Quizzes & fight the depression of being stuck with a man (coz men are so o obviously the problem in relationships, they just don't do anything right & there actions are so alway completely on purpse)...
For all those women who choose to spit, ha, your gunna die an angrey, stressed old lady who was less affectionate to everybody & had trouble sleeping, so got addicted to swallowing pills, when all ya needed to do, was suck some cock & swallow the love juice...