It's almost a mythological whisper...
One of the best kept secrets in the history of humankind...
Here & now, I'll unravel one of the darkest truths, hidden away & never spoke of....
But first I'll long it out..
Attempting to build tension & wonder....
For centuries men have experienced the rath of women going through what's commonly known as:-
'The menstral cycle'
'That time of the month'
'The Blob'
'Don't piss your mother off, she'll kill us!'
'The decorators are in'
'On the Rag'
'Bloodsport Olympics'
'Eww, you pervert, no I don't want to'
'Oh come on, we can play Vampires'
'She's... Well.. you know.. Plugged up.
Since the dorn of time, men have been on a long.. long.. road of learning about this once ancient phenomenon...
Like a never ending Yellow brick road.....
A never ending Red blood clotted brick road... of anger & terror... If you will...
The first discovered recording of this...
one of man's greatest struggles...
Was never truely revealed..
Until now..
No sound...
Well... Use your imagination...
DUNN!!--DUNN!!--DUNNNNN!!
It was a painting found on the walls of an ancient cave...
They say they couldn't translate it...
But It's as clear as day....
Some poor old Caveguy lost his freaking mind with all the crazy outbreaks of moods & swinging of weapons in his general direction!!
Unfortinately for him, the reason for such outbreaks of anger in his woman would not be discovered for many, many moons..
The knowledge of the human body was very basic..
They knew that when their belly and bum rumbled at the same time, all shit was about to break loose!!
((Pun))
Because their food & water source would likely have meant the suffered from diarrhea...
((Geek Pun...))
They also knew, when hitting a rock in your cave... With your little Toe.. it really hurts!!!
So you smash stupid rock with other rock!!
Which unfortunately will be the next Rock to invconveniance your morning!!
So you smash rock with other rock...
And so the cycle carries on..
Well, until tools where made...
Then you smash rock with primitive hammer...
Which then caused an awefull lot of sore thumbs!!
But what they didn't understand was the strangely coincidental 28 moons cycle between each 3-5 moons, when their females bled uncontrollably from where the one eyed snake goes to lay his eggs..
Played silly buggers with a females mind..
So the poor Caveguy who went absolutely mental, was talented enough to decorate his cave with a painting...
Well a sort of stickman drawing of an angry female, waving a weapon in a fit of rage, with a smeer of red to the lower body.
Eventually, humankind would put the dots together.. Men would learn not to beat their women... Well, beat her less anyway...
And he years would pass, when eventually, a time came when men wouldnt dream of beating their women...
In this age of time (the present day), when tipy toed of egg shells around women who were going through this unfortunate freak of necessary nature & evolution..
However, this isn't the best kept secret if humankind...
Oh no...
Whilst women go through this cycle & even when their not, men have evolved to take the verbal abuse & do their best...
Then, every now and then, men just blow their top...
In the past, they'd gone down their local & tell the lads how'd had enough of her indoors!!
''I tell ya lads, I've had it up to ere with her.indoors!!"
These days it still happens & there's a pattern...
Studies show, around every few weeks men around he word just loose it..
Buts its a general view that men are inconsiderate bastards who dont care how women feel & are punished for loosing it...
Men have been luered into this train of thought.... Buying sorry gifts to dig themselves out of he dog house..
This my friends is the best kept secret of humankind..
The male menstral cycle!!
That's right, men have a version if their own too...
But its been cleverly kept under raps whilst regular female emotion wrecks around the world hide behind their menstrual cycle, getting away with murder, not having to buy sorry gifts...
Well now the secrets out there...
Oh how the tables shall turn... Slightly...
