Buying a house... Penis Paranoia

Buying a house.
I know, I can see some of you going, fuck off he looks about 12 years old!! He shouldn't even be up this late!! And I bet he has a really small penis.
(Laugh)
What I love about that sentence is, although you all now are seeing me naked, with my small penis waving at you.. (comedy wave) // not that I've got a small Willy (nervious laugh).. its perfectly fine...

The best thing is: All the men who also think they have small penis whilst laughing now, are unaware of the phycological mindfuck I've just let loose... Because next time they go to the gym or the beach or get out the pool & their trunk hug a little too well..
Their gunna be massively self concious & paranoid that everyone's laughing about them & their little Willy wonker!!
Which now, I've set thay thought up, will be doubly as effective!!

Not that men should be bothered by it... Well unless it is freakishly small, like baby carrot, or, or, midget pinky toe (wee wee & went all the way back into its foreskin)!!

We shouldn't make fun of it really, some people out there do actually have willys like that.. I mean, to be fair, women can be pretty nasty about the size of a man's penis...Even when they try to tell you, its not the size of the rock, its how you throw it that counts... A tiny alarm bell goes off in mans brain!! Big flashing neon red lights that say SMALL COCK! SMALL COCK!..

I dunno what's worse.. the small skinny ones.. or those stumpy ones that look like New Potatoes (lemon voice)...
Really, we shouldn't make fun of it...
But. By fuck it us funny..

For me, I've come to terms with the size if my penis.. I'll neither confirm nor deny I have a small penis.. that waves at people!

What I will say is, it fits into most holes!!
And I'll say this, whatever holes your thinking it'll fit into says more about how sick you are, than it does about the size of my cock... (Poss pick on someone.. make up what sick thing they thought, or ask)..

At he end of the day, the way I came to terms with my penis size, was the realisation that it wasnt like it was much if a secret anymore...
My fiancee sees it all time.. So do my cats (bestiality reference?)..
Plenty of girls have seen it!
Oh god, that sounds like I stand outside school gates & flash little girls..
I mean, plenty of older women have seen it!!
Oh fuck, now that sounds like I go to old peoples homes, knock their ground floor windows & squash it up against the glass, like some sort of roadkill worm!!.. err snake.. I mean snake (mimic small, then hesitate to large)...

The most desturbing part of that, is why my reference is so vividly detailed & the fact by now, you probably wouldnt put it past me...