So this guy walks upto the bar....
The barman asks:
"Why the sad face??"
The guy sighs & replies:
"My Wife just died..."
The barman offers his condolences for such an aweful loss.....
The guy sighs & says:
"I know.. its terrible... who's going to make my dinner now!!"
Do you think when Santa was born, he came out with a full beard, red cheeks & a half eaten Mince Pie whilst pulling a sack full of presents from his cord!!
Jim will fix it..
More like:-
Jim will break it...
It being your hymen!!
Funny isn't it..
How irony works...
I mean, take Jimmy 'the paedo' Savill..
His show was called Jim will Fix it...
when actually what he seemed to do was Break a load of Hymens!!
I wonder if anyone actually wrote him a letter asking for him to fox it for them to loose their Hymen?...
Really, if he'd thought it through, he should have made each of his victims write him a letter asking him to touch them!!
It's happens us all...
Your minding your own, cleaning up after a number 2, when horror rears its head...
The bog roll breaks & a finger or two slips through!!
Now, I'll tell you what guys do at this point.
Guys check said finger visually to assess which Defcon number to declare...
(for any women or non sci fi ppl, Defon is the US Militaries way of easily determining how serious a threat they are encountering, the table goes from 1 - 5... This arguably isn't enough number to clearly assess a threat, but its possible the general US army population are brainless enough to warrant such a simple table)...
Anyway, once a guys done a quick visual check.. His brain decides that isn't quite enough & calls for a more intimate encounter...
This being a smell test...
The first whiff positively concluded the Brown substance is poo..
However a guys brain is so overcome, it has a fit & requests a second smell test...
Which reveals in fact.... It's still poo..
Now for ladies, its a bit different..
I'll tell you what happens...
Nothing happens..
Because women dont poo!!
Fact is, when they go into the toilet its for 3 reasons only..
Make-Up
Girly chats
and
To clean
Recently I discovered the majority of people who are part of the BNP have a tendancy to be Caucasian, enjoy wearing Camouflage (unsure whether that's because they like to hide in bushes or their too imbreed to understand, it doesn't mean we can't see you!!)..
Oh yeah, and mostly racist...
Maybe the BNP are misunderstood??
I mean ~ they believe foreigners should go home & stay there..
Which is a strangely obvious expectation..
I'm unsure where anyone should generally go after a day of work!?
Tescos?
I certainly wouldnt expect a political party to tell foreigners to go to the pub!! What sort of example would that be setting!
No... I agree.. Go home..
Look after your family..
Do some DIY...
Send some money overseas..
An odd similarity is the BNP families also tend to be made up of relatively large...
Although they are generally working class, or more often, something I like to call:-
non working class..
They also seem to squeeze into one house, having as many as 3 decades under one roof....
Funny, that's seems amazingling like the sort of household you might akin to a Pakistani family?!
Think the BNP lot are confused!?
Although the BNP familis share the job seekers & disability allowance for Cider, fags &... Cider...
Whereas:-
A Pakistani familiy use their brain, having some successful at work & others successful at getting allowances!!
Why watch people sleeping!?
If I wanted to watch random people sleep, I'd do a bit of B&E...
At least you get to take some memorabilia with you... ;-)
See many trick or treaters lastnight?!
No...
Neither did we..
Apparently the weather was too bad..
Ahh, boo hoo...
Kids these days.. pusseys!!
No commitment...
