I'll let you all into a little hidden fact..... We men are secretly ~~ hopeless romantics!!
I know.. I know.. you would never have guessed it!! What with our innate ability to wake ourselves up by way of colonic-trumpitiering!!
Despite our obviously graceful bedtime antics, we do secretly like to wooo our lady.. (Or man.. I'm not a gay-ist..)
However, like Supermans criptinite.. Something is built deep within our genes, which generally makes us useless baffons..
Who, like Aid to Africa ~~ means well..
But honestly, doesn't really work out now..Does it!!
As a prerequisite to this, at times, we men attempt to do something for our lady.. We say we'll make them a wonderful dinner, with our fair hands, from scratch... one of wonder, delight & infinite beauty..
Which, we hope, will at least be nice enough & none-poisinous enough, to ensure a sexually eventful evening ensues...
Strangely, this is where our Baffonary kicks in..
(yes, to all you English Lit grads.. I may have just made that word up... And what!! Like Amazeballs is a real word!!)
We, in the past have maybe attempted to follow a cook book for some idea of what to do..
However, our vaild excuse for no longer utilising this medium is...
We have no room for one, nor do we actually intend to ever read it again!!
So, you might think we turn to the internet... But no, we.. Sorry our inflated male egos decide, that despite still burning toast on a regular basis, we caughy enough Jamie Oliver & Saturday Kitchen to conjure up a dish of our own!!
Then comes the trip to the supermarket for the ingrediants to our heavenly dish...
In classic fashion, we leave this to the last minute.. Enviously because iur ego has faith in our ability to magically grab what we need..
In reality, almost as soon as we enter the supermarket, our superpowers evade us & we're left feeling like the outter shell of Stephen Hawkins;
A dribbling, disabled shadow of humanbeing!!
It will inevitably come down to three basic choices:
*Pre-Made meals for two.
*Something we can bung the oven & top with a professional sauce.
*Take-away.
The first & third are usually chosen by the obese or lazy as shit..
The second is the 'best-selling' choice that most men go with..
Why.. Well, in our hugely oversized & underused brains.. We see this as actually making something from scratch-ish...
We're able to control what goes with what & how it looks..
Or at least we attempt too..
If by some stroke of luck it all comes out okay.. Jackpot!!
Paradoxically though.. Even if it doesn't, we usually still get the Jackpot??
This is where the great book: Men are from Mars & Women can't comprehend logic is totally spot on!
(oh, wait, was it.. Women are from Venus.. Well.. Means the same thing)!
Deep within the uncomprehendable maze, that is, the women mind, despite the fact we've probably doomed them to a night of the shits..
They see our 'cute' attempt in the most simplist form: one of endearment...
Also, doing the washing up afterwards also helps!!
Usually the passionate consumation of physical love is help on by a lucky purchase of Chocolate perfitaroles..
Once this is over, the man will come clean & reveal he's didn't make it completely from scratch..
Essentially it was all Pre-mad..
Thing is personally, in 2012 Britain, I dunno how else you'd get Salmon?
Hire a bear to catch it for you??!!
Also.. I do wonder what the difference is, in, say, Antartica??
I would've thought bringing home, all the fresh ingredients is far to normal & totally unromantic?!
Maybe... The feat of getting a Dominos pizza delivered, still hot, is their romantic dinner for two??
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